HOW Much More of THIS Can I take ?!

As most of you moms, I too am preparing my children to return to school. Frankly I was really excited to see them go back until I started thinking about how last year began.

Last year, after the first day of school, my oldest son ( the Tech Monkey) says to me in the car driving home " Mom I am being discriminated against." I am thinking how can this have happened on the FIRST day? So like all good moms, I interrogated him. " What do you mean by discriminated?" It's a big word after all maybe he didn't really mean what that word means right? " Well," he begins " Our teacher was outlining the class rules for this year and he said that if a boy raises his hand and asks to go to the bathroom during class it will not be allowed. Boys must use the restroom during lunch and recess, but GIRLS ( the emphasis was his) can raise their hands in class and they WILL be allowed to go to the bathroom! That is discrimination." The Tech Monkey was indignant. I had to try not to laugh. The tech monkey was starting 6th grade. Sixth grade girls are fertile. I had never found a reason to relate menstruation to my BOYS. I am thinking that it is something they really don't need to know about until later anyway. But I was SOO wrong. Because now I had an indignant sixth grade boy telling me that he was being discriminated against.  My parents always spoke about these kind of things in very clinical terms so I decide that that is what I will do for my kids. I tell the Tech Monkey " Honey, your teacher is not discriminating against you. Girls your age have a biological reason for needing to go to the bathroom at a moments notice. They can't plan ahead like you can." This is not good enough for the Tech Monkey he starts pestering me as to what biological reason they could possibly have that makes them have to go potty. I tell him you really don't want to know the specifics, it will gross you out. He keeps pestering until finally his father comes home, and he asks me AGAIN. So now that Agent Daddy is home to pick of the pieces of my grossed out son I lay it on him. " Girls have blood that comes out between their legs. They have no control over when it happens or how much comes out so they have to go to the bathroom to clean themselves and make sure they don't bleed on everything." By this time the Tech Monkeys eyes are round as saucers, and his chin is on the floor. He starts shaking his head and walks away. I am a little concerned so I follow him. He goes and finds Agent daddy and tells him what I said and asks " Does that REALLY happen? or is mommy just teasing me?" Agent Daddy says " No son, it really happens." So the Tech Monkey turns to me and says " Does that happen to you?" and Agent Daddy says " Son you have no idea."

So that little piece of embarrassment, was just the first in a long litany of puberty questions I was subjected to all last year. As I look back and remember last year I wonder HOW much more of THIS can I take? Why is Agent Daddy never around we we have to talk about this stuff?
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