2012 Is here folks and I have the top 10 new years resolutions for the people who want to be honest.
10. I will no longer consider removing food from the box and putting it on a plate to be "cooking".
9. When the dog messes in the house I will clean it up instead of pretending not to have seen it until another person is cleaning it up.
8. I will not refer to Dark Chocolate as health food and then tell my doctor how Healthy I have been eating.
7. I will not refer to my hated neighbor as the spawn of Satan. Or at least not in front of my children.
6. I will stop referring to red wine as my vitamin drink.
5. I will not take it personally when my mother gives me her opinion on all the things I have done wrong. I will try to remember that her list of wrong doing is longer than mine.
4. I will stop trying to convince my kids that sleeping in the living room is the same as being on Vacation.
3. I will keep my who ha and my boobs covered so as not to create envy among the other old lady moms.
2. I will start trying to lose those last 15 pounds and stop worrying about losing the first 20.
1. I will not Kill my kids. This will be the hardest but I am not a fan of prison so I think all my hard work will be worth it.
Happy New Year to all my Awesome readers. Remember You can laugh or you can cry its your choice.
10. I will no longer consider removing food from the box and putting it on a plate to be "cooking".
9. When the dog messes in the house I will clean it up instead of pretending not to have seen it until another person is cleaning it up.
8. I will not refer to Dark Chocolate as health food and then tell my doctor how Healthy I have been eating.
7. I will not refer to my hated neighbor as the spawn of Satan. Or at least not in front of my children.
6. I will stop referring to red wine as my vitamin drink.
5. I will not take it personally when my mother gives me her opinion on all the things I have done wrong. I will try to remember that her list of wrong doing is longer than mine.
4. I will stop trying to convince my kids that sleeping in the living room is the same as being on Vacation.
3. I will keep my who ha and my boobs covered so as not to create envy among the other old lady moms.
2. I will start trying to lose those last 15 pounds and stop worrying about losing the first 20.
1. I will not Kill my kids. This will be the hardest but I am not a fan of prison so I think all my hard work will be worth it.
Happy New Year to all my Awesome readers. Remember You can laugh or you can cry its your choice.
I will stop calling it a "vitamin drink" as long as I can still drink it, lol! Great list! This definitely had me laughing!
ReplyDeleteAwesome list!!!! These are hilarious! Not Your Ordinary Agent
ReplyDeleteNot Your Ordinary Recipes
Very funny!!! I'm with you - - especially #6 - #8!!! I don't generally make resolutions, but I will definitely be trying those 3 out - lol
ReplyDeleteHappy New Years!!!
Carla from VB
Mrs. NoNo Knows
Haha! Thanks for the laughs today! http://mamawolfe-living.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteOMG! Maunt and I were cracking up! Our favorite, of course, is that last 15 lbs. Screw the rest!
ReplyDeleteLMAO!
Kisses and kicks!
Sharon
That made it much easier to laugh!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love the last 15 pounds! What a great list. Thanks for the smiles!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone! And to be clear I will strop calling it a vitamin drink but I will keep drinking it. just not before noon anymore.LOL
ReplyDeleteI Like Your Resolutions . One Resolution I Wish I Could Do is Stop Eating Chocolate . I Love Chocolate ( Divinity Is My Downfall ) . Anna
ReplyDeleteVisiting from VoiceBoks. I love your post, especially #2. I'm on a quest to lose those last 10 pounds I gained in the past 2 months!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! And sadly, right on. :) Congrats on being featured this month.
ReplyDeleteAli from VB
This is perfect!!! You have completely ruined my resolution of taking an exemption from making resolutions!! I want yours!!! Way too funny!! Really great piece!!
ReplyDeleteVery funny :) Congratulations on being a featured member of VB.
ReplyDeleteVery funny! If I were honest, I should make almost all of these resolutions!! :^D Thanks for the laugh & congrats on being a Featured Member of voiceBoks!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
~Erin
LOL! I love this list. I think I'll adopt it. I stopped by to congratulate you and got an unexpected treat!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on vB featured member status! heehee great post!
ReplyDeleteThese are funny Michelle! I like that you ignore the dog poop. That should be a resolution, not one to change;) Happy New Year, and love the new look on the site!
ReplyDeleteLove, love, love your remark about losing the last 15 pounds. That's hysterical!
ReplyDeleteHa ha.. I had a nice laugh! #4 and #8 - just awesome!
ReplyDeleteAwesome and very funny list. I love that you refer to wine as your vitamin drink. :)
ReplyDelete~Rosann
But red wine IS a vitamin drink! My kids love sleeping in the living room. :) Or anywhere besides their own beds, really. But, I've never tried the "vacation" line on them before.
ReplyDelete