Now I was a woman, wife, daughter in law and daughter. How could I possibly please everyone at the same time? Who did I need to please first?
Then I had children and it became even more difficult to manage what I needed to be first. I have chosen to be a wife and mother ( in that order) and everything else is on a first come first serve basis. I usually don't please everyone. Actually, I am lucky if I please ANYONE. I say that because I want you to know that it is okay to not please everyone. In fact, it is impossible to please everyone all the time. Some people will never be pleased. So it is REALLY important to decide who it is most important to please and when. Sometimes it is in the best interest of your children to not please them. Sometimes I have to put myself first. If I cease to fight for myself I will cease to be myself.
I admit though that the hardest person to not please is my mom. I love her and I know she loves me but sometimes her desires conflict with what I know I need to do to put my husband and children first. Where does the line between being a daughter and being a mom go? How do you tell the person who taught you how to BE a mom that you think she made some mistakes and that you don't want to do those things with your children? I am a pretty secure person but no one can make me feel insecure faster than my mom. I don't believe she is trying to make me feel bad it just seems to happen. I think to myself the same woman who taught me "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all" has made an art out of saying things that are not nice to me.
So I wonder if my Grandma did the same thing to my mom all her life. So now my mom thinks that she needs to say crap to me. Is it possible to change the pattern even as you are mired in it? I hope it is. It is probably not easy. Change never is. But I am making that change with my kids. Wish me luck.
And if you know where that line between daughter and mom is could you let me know?
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