Big Foot, the Skunk Ape, and the Booger Monster

 

If you are wondering if Big Foot, the Skunk Ape, and the Booger Monster exist., I can tell you they do. I know that  because I live with them. Big Foot is the leader. He leaves hair samples all over the bathroom everyday and I have tripped over the massive shoes he wears. He is BIG. 

Big Foot wears many disguises, when I met him he looked like a normal, attractive man,  it wasn't unitl I married him that I discovered the shedding problem. Don't get me wrong, I can't knit a sweater from his back hair, but my tile floor has a fur rug in it whenever he has used it. And worse than the shedding and the big shoes are the spawn of Big Foot, the Skunk Ape and the Booger Monster.

The Skunk Ape, refuses to bathe. I have patiently explained to him  "People will like you more if you smell good" but it falls on deaf ears. He has not begun to shed like his sire but the feet are huge and I am afraid he will grow into them. 

The Skunk Apes brother is the Booger Monster. When I went to college and studied hard to get good grades I never in a million years imagined that I would grow up to be a human Kleenex. The Booger Monster has a perpetually drippy nose. He believes sleeves were invented for him to wipe said nose upon. He also believes that is is perfectly acceptable to give mommy a hug and then rub the before mentioned nose all over mommy's shirt. I am disgusted just thinking about it. I have begged him to stop but he looks at me with those big brown eyes and says " But Mommy, I am just Loving on you." What do you say to that? "Love doesn't have Boogers?"

It is difficult to catch these three, on film, in their natural habitat. And even more difficult to get them to smile. I have a computer full of blurry, and unsmiling photo's. But At least I know they exist. And now you do too.

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