Early Man

I am an educated woman. I believed that the whole male/female thing was more nurture rather than nature. But God has a sense of humor so he gave me all boys. I am not a frufy woman. I'm  really kinda of a tomboy, so I thought "GREAT this is my chance to prove that I can raise superior males. My daughters in laws will praise me for the great job I did raising these prince charmings."

In some ways I was successful. My boys wash their hands after using the restroom. They both can make their own beds and clean their own rooms. But in other ways...not so much. My first experiment with them was teaching them to sit down to go pee. I stayed home with them so my hubby would never need to know about this little gift I was giving my future daughter in laws. Well I forgot that the boys went to the rest room with Daddy when we were out on the weekends. Holy CRAP! You should have seen the look on my husbands face when he informed me that the boys HAD to stand up to pee. That if they did not they would be kicked out of the man cub club. SERIOUSLY?? What is the big deal? I mean my way no one would ever have to sit in someone else's pee because the boys were too lazy to lift the seat? But anyway....

The next rude awakening came when I noticed that my boys were FASCINATED with their own penises. I am aware that all MEN are fascinated but I thought that that was a puberty and after thing. I didn't know I was going to have to talk about penises daily with my toddlers then discuss ball sacks and scrotum's with my tweens. I mean the fun NEVER ends. I tried telling them that NO ONE was ever going to love their penis as much as they do but they clearly don't believe me...I am not a part of the penis brotherhood so how could I possibly know?

I have continued to attempt to raise superior males but I am beginning to think that some of this guy stuff is just hard wired in. The obsessive need to control the remote, the desire to blow things up ( or at least pretend to), and last but not least the need for the BIGGEST TV in town.

The above picture is of my 8 year old. We went to SEARS for a part for my dishwasher and the boys asked if they could look around. This is where I found the two of them. This is a 62" TV. The other one had found a 70" TV. They both felt that we NEEDED a larger TV. Why? I am not really clear. I asked the husband and was told "It's a guy thing." I hear that A LOT.

"Its a guy thing" means don't ask. You could never understand because you are not part of the penis brotherhood. I haven't given up, but I think I am losing the battle.
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