What do you Mean Mommy Doesn't have a Penis?

Several years ago my husband and I went to Laughlin, NV with his cousin, her son and our two boys. While there we decided to take a day trip over to Oatman, AZ. Oatman is about 40 minutes away from Laughlin and is an old mining town famous for being the place where Cary Grant and Carole Lombard spent their wedding night. It is a tourist trap and alot of fun. My kids were 7 and 4 and my husbands cousins son was 6. They were the perfect age for Oatman. We went to Oatman on a day when they had the pretend gunfights  in the streets.  We were told at the hotel that we should get carrots from the grocery store to feed the feral burro's that roam the streets of Oatman. The kids were all excited to see gunfighters and burros and we packed all 6 of us in the car and off we went.

We were in Oatman at the time of year when the baby burros are quite small and follow their mommys around nursing. We had been following the burros around feeding the mommys and waiting for the "gunfight" when my oldest, in his most authoritative voice, explains to his younger cousin and brother "The babies are sucking on the mommy's penis to get milk."  The other adults standing around began to laugh. My husband looks at me questioning what I am teaching his boys. I am completely speachless. When I manage to get my voice back I begin to explain to him that what he said is wrong on so many levels the most important of which being that mommy's don't have penises. " Mommy," he says to me " if you don't have a penis, how do you go pee? And what are the babies sucking on?" I answer as patiently as I can " Mommy's sit down to go pee and the baby is sucking on the mommies breast." My oldest looks at me, looks at his Dad because he still can't believe what I have told him and says very loudly " Daddy did you know that  mommy doesn't have a penis and she has to sit down to pee?" My husband grabs my sons hand and leads him away from the crowd that is forming around my little comedy show and quietly says "Yes I am aware that your mommy does not have a penis but its ok God made her that way."

And that's how we roll....

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