Lord Save me from the Hoochie Mamas

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Today, when I went to the Jr. High school to pick up the Tech Monkey, I was surprised to see all the prostitutes out for a stroll around the Jr High. I was thinking " How can they make any money on Jr. High boys?" Then the bell rang and I discovered that I, was oh so very WRONG.... These were not prostitutes these were the mother's of my son's class mates. I am not really sure what happened in these women's brains that told them
to wear hooker shoes to pick up their 12 year old kids, but there they were in their skin tight jeans, camel toes and shirts with their "Ta Tas" hanging out. And these were not YOUNG women. These were 35-45 year old women whom I guess thought that they needed to "let it all hang out." The smell of desperation and Charlie perfume hung in the air.
I used to worry about the Tech Monkey being distracted in school by his female classmates. He is a pubescent boy ofter all. Then I worried about the girls wearing revealing clothing to school, thus making it even harder to concentrate. So I chose a school with a dress code. NO skin showing from the neck to the knees. Collared shirts for everyone. Lord Knows I NEVER in a million years imagined that the PARENTS needed a dress code. So I am ordering a black hood for my son to put on and be led from school so that he doesn't see these women's boobies and choochies hanging out ( and I do mean HANGING). Any suggestions? A school rule that the hoochie mamas must wear a BURKA when ever they come with in 100 ft of the school? Or maybe just a state law REQUIRING that women over 40 wear a bra. Just saying....
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Comments

  1. lisaSeptember 22, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    From 10 to 60 now-a-days girls/women feel the need to let it all hang out. It’s disgusting. Whatever happened to leaving a little to the imagination?
    There is this professional woman that I work with who is beautiful. She’s got to be in her mid-40’s but has the body of a 20 year old and apparently she knows it. Last Friday she wore SKINK TIGHT pants, pointy toed, spike heeled, knee-high black boots and a body hugging cowl neck sweater. I swear she looked like she was made up to go clubbing. Both my co-worker and myself said it wasn’t even remotely appropriate. This woman hold a VP position, to boot! I was floored.
    I think we should have laws that if you have over an “A” cup you need to wear a bra. Shorts should never show your butt cheeks. Pants should never show your camel toe. This all applies, no matter what age you are.

    Lisa
    www.insignificantatbest.com

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  2. UnknownSeptember 22, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    AMEN sister! I don't know why women think that every one in the universe wants to see their hoohaa but really COVER UP!

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  3. MariaSeptember 22, 2011 at 5:44 PM

    Is that really what they wear?! What do their kids say?

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  4. Emerald PalaceSeptember 22, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    LOL tooo funny! I feel sorry for our boys growing up in this society, even though I have worn some sexy outfits, but not to pick up kids from school (I wear my sexy stuff on dates... not to impress jr highers.... seriously??)

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  5. sustahlSeptember 22, 2011 at 8:37 PM

    This post made me laugh because I have a 12 year old. I worry about the girls that wear short skirts and no leggings because unfortunately, some little boys will do anything to look. I am all for the leading a child into school with a blind-fold on :)

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  6. AnonymousSeptember 23, 2011 at 6:01 AM

    Here's what I'd do - talk with Tech about what happens to mean girls when they grow up. He'll quickly learn to recognize the signs (and BAGGAGE!), he'll gravitate to nice, smart girls with age-appropriate fashion sense. Will save y'all a world or trouble, count on that :)

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  7. Bob ButterBottomSeptember 23, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    1) Where is this school located - hee hee
    2) I thought for sure it was about the hoochie 14 year olds
    3) Last year at our sons PRE-SCHOOL graduation, there was a hoochie mama there. Really, at a pre-school graduation you want to look like a hooker? Weird. Not that hookers aren't nice people, but you know...

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  8. UnknownSeptember 23, 2011 at 2:06 PM

    Yeah I am teaching the Tech Monkey to recognize the smell of desperation and BAGGAGE and to RUN far and fast when he smells them.

    Bob- I thought I would have to worry about 14 year old Hoochie's leading the boy astray too. How could I know that Hooker is a style choice for adult women?

    I am sure if you have the green Hookers are VERY nice people. But really 3:00 in the afternoon is just a little early for that don't you think?

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  9. Erin WallaceSeptember 23, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    "The smell of desperation and Charlie hung in the air." Genius.

    Where I grew up it can be hoochiee mama territory. I just have to tell you this. Most kids have the sense to know that old ladies shouldn't be dressing with their junk in full view. They probably think it's gross.

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