Now Where did I Put THAT?

Over the years I have had an itty bitty problem with things magically disappearing from my house. Before I had children I somehow acquired a laundry elf. I would put two socks in the laundry, only one would come out of the dryer. So I started putting the socks in lingerie bags with zippers on them. Magically my socks stopped disappearing. Until I had children. I guess it took a while for the laundry elf to call all of his friends and mount an attack on me. But I am sure he was mad because I had had the audacity to lock up my socks.

Once the children were born the new elves moved in. I had the laundry elf still but I was too tired to lock up my socks in a lingerie bag so they began to disappear again. Then my cups and glasses started going MIA. I would go to get a drink and there would be NO glasses in the cupboards even though I had just put away all the dishes in the dish washer less than an hour before. This kitchen elf was diabolical. When I started hiding the glasses in linen closet, my spoons began to disappear.

I could now find a glass for a drink but FORGET eating a bowl of cereal. So I bought 12 spoons from Walmart and I hid half of them in my underwear drawer. Take that Kitchen ELF! I was starting to feel victorious. I was drinking out of glasses again and eating with a spoon. But the kitchen elf had more in store for me. Next time I went to make dinner the spatulas were missing. I could have sworn I had five of those suckers but could I find just one? NO. So off I went to Walmart again to buy some spatulas. I hid these new spatula's in the laundry room. I figured no one but the sock thief elf would even show their face in there for fear of having to FOLD a piece of laundry. So my spatula's would be safe. I hid them in the cabinet over the washer. You cannot be too careful when dealing with vengeful elves.

Then the towels began disappearing. I would go to the linen closet, look behind my glasses and find NO towels. I can't imagine where all my towels were going. I had washed them and put them in the linen closet with the glasses but then they just seemed to disappear. They were not in the laundry, were dirty towels were supposed to go. Where could they be? Off to Walmart, now I needed towels.  Once I bought the towels I hid them in the kitchen cabinet. It was empty cause all the glasses were in the linen closet.

That is when the CLEAN laundry started going missing. Now mind you if it went missing from the dryer I would know that it was the laundry elf but no. This laundry was ALREADY folded by yours truly and left neatly on my children's beds. Now I know they put the clothes away. I mean after they saw me laboring over the laundry, they wouldn't dare shove the clean stuff under the bed or in the closet behind an army helmet and three toy rifles. That would be CRAZY! But the children, only one day after I have done said laundry, and they have sworn that they put said laundry away, tell me that they are out of the socks that they just the day before put away. So I now know that we have an infestation of malicious elves stealing clean laundry so that they can force my sweet darling boys to go to school with dirty clothes, and without socks. It is either that or the laundry grew legs and walked away. And that would be just SILLY.

So I had come up with a NEW plan. I would hide under the bed and watch to see where the clean laundry went after I left it on my precious children's beds. Problem was, when I went to crawl under the bed, It was stuffed to over flowing. What was under the bed? Twelve spoons, sixteen pairs of socks in six different sizes, ten glasses, eight towels, five spatuala's and ALL of the missing once clean laundry.

NASTY ELVES!