I Need a Sign

I was in an office building yesterday and I noticed how all of the businesses had these huge corporate signs on their wall announcing their company name and the logo. And I got to thinking about how doctors, CPA's and attorneys all have name plates on their doors. I was thinking that I could go online to someplace like Impact Signs and order me a sign for the living room. I am thinking that it should be 6 ft across by 3 feet high. It should say "OBEY the Mommy." This way no one who comes to my house will be unclear as to who is in charge. I am also hoping that it will make it clear to the boys that they should be obeying me. But just to be sure I am going to get a name plate, from Impact Signs too. I believe I will get  the brass name plate that says The MOMMY. Brass has such a look of authority. I will hang this on my bedroom door in case my kids forget who the Mommy is and therefore are unclear as to whom they should OBEY.

As I got to the shopping cart  to check out I realized that I am not done. These signs could be the answer to my having to repeat myself all the time. So I order an acrylic sign for the bathroom. It says "DID YOU FLUSH AND WASH YOUR HANDS?" I am convinced that this will help our flushing problem but will seem strange to our guests. So I have the tag  -the Mommy placed at the bottom of the sign. This way it will remind our guests of the living room sign that says OBEY the Mommy. They will realize the the signs are part of my new decorating style and won't think that I am too strange.

Now I am on a roll. I order a little brass plaques for each bathroom to go over the toilet paper roll. This sign says "If its empty get a new roll!" And that sign leads me to the sign on the gargare door that says "Did you turn the light off?" which leads me to the sign next to the back door that says "Shut the door". And that sign leads me to the sign for each boys room which says "Did you clean your room?". Then I think that a sign for the refrigerator would be good. This one will say "Did you do your homework yet?" I would put this sign in the homework room but I figure  that I know for SURE that they will go get a snack. They usually don't head for their homework without prompting.

So now I have spent all the christmas money on signage for my home so I decided that if I wrapped all the signs and put them under the tree, no one would realize there were no presents until AFTER Christmas morning.
Maybe I should get the "No Whining" sign now too.