The Garage and the Limousine

I have always made it a habit to make up names for body parts that are impolite to speak of in public. So when I was driving the kids home from to school today I made an interesting discovery. The Tech Monkey was explaining to me that his Debate Coach had a discussion today in class about proper attire for debate tournaments. The Debate Coach was explaining to the girls that they needed to wear conservative clothing, no short skirts with 6 inch heels. At this point in his description Techie started to have trouble continuing. So I chimed in with " Make sure your Cha Cha and your Ta Ta's are not hanging out. No one wants to see your Whoo Ha."
Airborne, who is only nine, asked "Whats a Whoo Ha and a Cha Cha?"
"Its a girls private parts" I explained.
" We call it the garage an the limo" Tech Monkey corrects me.

I found it extremely interesting that boys automatically assume the position, when speaking of their privates, that their privates are BIG. Notice it wasn't the garage and the SUV or the Garage and the Mini Cooper. Nor was it the Airplane and the Hanger, in which case the "Hanger" would greatly outsize the puny aircraft.  NO it is the garage and the limousine.  I guess we all have our own misconceptions.

Before I had children, I assumed that all of these crazy guy behaviors were nurture not nature. When I had little baby boys I was convinced that I would raise superior male beings that would not find farting and belching to be  Olympic caliber sports. MY boys would not think that hitting each other in the gonads was the funniest thing on earth. They would not laugh hysterically when the word wiener was said in polite company. In fact they would not say wiener at all.

I could not have been more WRONG about the nurture/ nature thing. Boys are simply wired differently than girls. Their wants, desires and humor are mostly incomprehensible . But one thing is true, no matter how old the boys, if left with out female influence, wherever they live will become a frat house. Given enough time they will be running around half naked in their underwear flicking towels at each other and making each other smell their farts. It is inescapable. It is only though puberty that we women can gain control and tame the wild beasts. The only way to hold back the barbarian tenancies is for them to believe that they will never get a girl if they continue on this path. And, for that to be important, they must go through puberty. Puberty makes men mailable. Or at least more predictable in their motivations. So ladies, cover up the Whoo Ha's and the Ta Ta's. If you control the Who Ha you control the WORLD!