Say WHAT?!

It has come to my attention that many of the questions that I ask and phrases that I say have been misunderstood or ignored all together. In the interest of clarity I have decided to do a dictionary of sorts to make things a whole lot clearer to both my children and my readers.

1. Do you need a jacket? This means I am cold therefore you must be also. Not to be confused with #2.

2. Is it HOT in here? This means I am having a hot flash and it would be better for everyone if you just agreed with me that it is hot even if it is 20 degrees Fahrenheit.

3. Are you going to where that? This means go in and change because I clearly don't think what you are wearing is appropriate and or clean.

4. Did you flush and wash your hands? This means that I just observed you leaving the restroom and heard neither the toilet flush nor the water run. Just go back and flush and wash your hands and no one will get hurt.

5. Did you brush your teeth? When I ask this question I am speaking in the present tense and want to know that you brushed you teeth in the last hour, not whether or not you have EVER brushed your teeth.

6. Mommy needs a time out.  This means I am about to go menopausal on your a$$ and you better just let me go to my room before all hell breaks loose.

7. Going menopausal on your a$$. This is the same as going pentecostal on your a$$ but without the love of Jesus to save you from my wrath.

8. REALLY?! This means that whatever you have said or done is WRONG and you should stop it immediately. You cannot win an argument that starts with me saying REALLY?

9. Mompetion- This is a competition between moms where the bitchy mom tries to convince you that their child spoke 3 languages fluently at 6 months. NEVER get sucked into a Mompetion! You will only end up lying like a rug to make your self look better to the bitchy mom whom you know is really lying anyway.

10. I had a coupon. This means that I was almost obligated to buy the item because I would be doing my family such a HUGE favor by saving them all kinds of money. This can also be used to justify new clothes, dinner out, and all sorts of unnecessary expenses. This phrase is the "Get out of Jail Free" card of fiscal responsibility.


Please share with me your "special" phrases and terms so that I can make this the most comprehensive "dictionary".