NOT ME and I DON'T KNOW.

I would like to introduce to you the two new occupants of my home, NOT ME and I DON'T KNOW. They used to only come and visit occasionally but I believe that they have moved in permanently at this point.
"Where ," you might ask "do they live in your house?" I mean its a small house with only three bedrooms, but they have found their spots and made themselves right at home...kind of like crabgrass.

NOT ME lives in my boys bathroom. Every time I ask "Who didn't flush the toilet?" Both kids yell "NOT ME!" "Whose clothes are on the floor of the bathroom?" NOT ME. "Who left the toothpaste out with out a cap on it?" NOT ME. I do not know who raised this little monster, NOT ME, but his parents are unbelievably bad. NOT ME ventures into other rooms too. "Who left their shoes in the kitchen?" NOT ME "Who left the lights on in the kitchen?" NOT ME. "Who Spilled goldfish all over the carpet?" NOT ME

And NOT ME is not alone. He brought a friend, I DON'T KNOW. "Whose turn is it to take out the trash?" I DON'T KNOW. "Who left the refrigerator door open?" I DON'T KNOW. "Whose clothes are these on the floor?" I DON'T KNOW. Now, I DON'T KNOW doesn't have a favorite place like NOT ME. I DON'T KNOW, seems to spread his joy all over the house and likes to ride in the car too. "Whose shoes are these in the car?" You guessed it...I DON'T KNOW.

What I really need to know is when NOT ME and I DON'T KNOW will be leaving for college. Because when they ask who is paying for college, I will say I DON'T KNOW, NOT ME.