I Have Issues...

Some people go to a therapist when they have problems. Anger management, control issues. But not me. I write a blog. I tell the whole world my private thoughts and feelings. I make fun of my neighbors, kids, husband and myself. Mostly myself. I embellish the stories to make myself look better or worse depending on the story.

My family never really signed up to be put on display but have handled it remarkably  well. Agent Daddy often remarks in the middle of a bru ha ha, "This is going in the blog isn't it?" The tech Monkey has given up asking me to stop calling him that. Of course I had to remind him that his name in the blog used to be the skunk ape. He has started to bathe regularly. On his own. With out me nagging him. There must be a girl involved. I have asked him but he says he won't tell because he doesn't want it in the blog. So since he doesn't smell so bad Tech Monkey it is.

Airborne how ever has a different way of handling it. He has decided that he is a star and I am the paparazzi. He lets me take pictures and then goes to the blog to make sure that I am not fabricating stories about him. If he doesn't like the story he threatens to call his attorney unless I print a retraction. I think Agent daddy is his attorney but I am not sure. I keep having sex with Agent daddy to stay out of court with Airborne. I think its a win for everyone.

My mother tells me that I only write about her when I am being mean. Well DUH! I don't want my readers to think that I am the cause of all my problems. Where would the fun in that be? So hundreds of people read my blog but not my mom. Or my 90 year old grandma. Grams, as I like to call her, asks me every time I see her if I am still writing. I tell her yes and you can read my blog on your iPad. She tells me that she is too busy reading her books to do that.

So I write all of this stuff and post it on my blog and wait for my wonderful other mommy bloggers and fans to leave comments. I consider this THERAPY. And it costs me nothing. Again a win for everyone.