The Vortex of Socks

The following is a true story. None of the names have been changes because NO ONE is innocent.

The picture to the left was taken in my family room. The family room is really the place we spend the most time in. I have noticed a strange phenomenon lately. The socks of multiple people seem to gather in one spot in my house. I took the picture because I knew people would think that I am crazy for saying this. There is some kind of alternate dimension/ vortex in my family room. It only affects socks at the moment. Why can't I have a loose change vortex? Why only dirty socks?

I am unclear as to how it works. I have tried staking out the family room with night vision goggles, hoping to catch the vortex in action. I have not succeeded. I can only bear witness to the end product. Socks from several people, all gathered in a central location as if called by some unseen sock piper. A sock siren maybe. Calling the socks to their doom...sorry I got a little dramatic there for a moment.

At first I thought that Airborne and The Tech Monkey were messing with

me. I asked them why they were piling up the socks in the middle of the Family room. They swore it was my other two kids, Not Me and I Don't Know. I did what every scientist worth their salt would do. I cleaned up the "phenomenon" and set a trap to catch them messing with me. But no, the socks did not congregate as long as I was there. Everyone went to bed and the next morning BOOM. There was the sock vortex. Now I swear I thought I had rid my self of the pesky elves who used to hide my spoons. The trolls who hide my keys and phone have been relocated to a farm on the eastern shores of Norway.

I am thinking of calling Ripley's. I hear they pay you for your bizarre stories. I have photographic proof of my vortex. I could maybe get a show on the SyFy network. I mean if Josh Gates can have a show, Destination Truth, where he finds NOTHING...EVER. Shouldn't my sock vortex at least be worth an episode? Besides he is awfully cute even if he is way too young for me.