Pervy Pete

Ever since I got boobs I have attracted the attention of men. And lets just say that the titty fairy was VERY good to me. When it first started I was embarrassed and confused. Later I learned the Power of Boobs. Now I have just accepted that it is my due to get a little "extra attention" from men. For the most part it is nice. Men are sweet and they try real hard to pretend they are not staring. And there are the Pervy Petes.
These are the guys that are usually about 15 to 20 years older than me. When I was young I was flattered to have an older man give me attention. That, however, wore off pretty quick though when I began to realize these Pervy Petes couldn't tell you what color hair I had or what color my eyes were. They had never looked up that far. These are the guys who think they have game.  They call you sweetie, honey and baby from the first moment they meet you because they can't be bothered to remember your name.

Now that I am over (ahem) 29, these guys are getting older too. Most of them not gracefully. And if you read "Your mama is a pervert magnet." You will understand that this is just my lot in life. Except that I have to draw the line at the bald, rotund Pervy Pete with a cane who thinks he is still Rico Suave. Last week I was at the market early in the morning. No make up and no wedding ring. I must have forgotten to put it on after the gym. This Pervy Pete was 5'5" (with his lifts) using a cane and sporting a comb over. He swaggers up to me in the produce isle and says " Hey beautiful, nice melons." We were standing by the cantaloupes. Then he starts laughing at his own joke and wheezing. I thought he might fall on the ground and pretend to have a heart attack just so that I might give him mouth to mouth. Which by they way wasn't happening on his best day.

I gave him the LOOK. This is my best "Oh no you didn't" look. It usually shrivels a mans pride from 30 feet. But not this guy. I guess I was just lucky that day. Pervy Pete continued "Do you think if I squeezed them I would be able to tell if they are sweet?"
I replied "Many have tried and few have lived to tell the tale."
"Mmm fiesty." Says my geriatric Lothario. " Just the way I like 'em"
"And you are pervy and crazy just the way I like my men...right before I kill them and bury them in the back yard. Which do you prefer under the roses or under the under the lilacs? OOPs Sorry the I forgot the Lilac bush is full now. Just roses for you."
Pervy Pete picked up his false teeth from the ground where they had fallen and quickly headed for the other side of the store.

That'll Learn him.