It is highly unlikely that anyone has said parenting a
teenager will be a breeze. Yes, in some cases, parents luck out and have the
perfect teen, or do they? How do you know their teen didn't go through a rebellious
phase, too? Maybe they just handled it in a way that encouraged positive
change. If you are ready to pull your hair out, or if you are trying to
soak in
as much knowledge on the subject now before your tween turns into a teen these
tips should help.
Your Teen Hates You
Okay, they probably don't really hate you, but that doesn't
make the words sting any less as they stomp their foot and slam the door.
Sometimes they don't even have to say the words; that icy glare is more than
enough.
Teenagers know they need you deep down inside, but they put
you on a roller coaster ride anyway. The thing is that their anger toward you
could very well be due to something else they are going through. They just take
it out on you. Don't react. Yes, it will be hard. However, yelling or saying
something hurtful back will not help. Let them know you don't appreciate how
they are acting and that you are there if they want to talk. Leave it at that
and go relax next to your slate
wall fountain. If you don't have one you can get one from stores like
LuxeWaterWalls.com. It will be one of the best purchases you ever make.
Missing Curfew
They know they are supposed to be home by 11:00pm, but once
again, it's 12:15am when they come sneaking in the house. Teens like to test
limits. Deep down they want limits. If they didn't have any they would feel
like you don't care. This doesn't mean they will always obey them though.
If you state specific consequences for breaking the rules,
you need to follow through. Otherwise, they won't take you seriously. You may
want to find out what the curfew is of all their friends. If everyone else has
to be home a half hour later, consider being flexible. Give them the
opportunity to have the later curfew, but if it gets broke it goes back to where
it was before.
Too Much Drama
Teens tend to feel intensely. Something as small as a
favorite pair of jeans getting shrunk in the wash can seem like the end of the
world. Parents often trivialize the level of importance of things affecting
their teenager. This makes them feel misunderstood. Something that you don't
feel should matter is a big deal to them. If you continuously make light of the
situation the walls will start to build between the two of you. This is often
why the line of communication gets stopped. They don't want to express their
feelings, if they are going to be made to feel as though they are unimportant.
Learn to listen and sympathize.
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